Hello my loves! Been away for the past couple weeks dealing with LIFE COMPLICATIONS, but I have lots to share & will be back soon! Thanks for sticking around!
It’s Leo’s birthday! Let’s all make him papier-mâché Oscar statues! But first! Let’s look at pictures of Kate! Which is my favourite thing to do while I’m thinking about Leo.
First, allow me to FREAK OUT over these gender flip photos of Kate for the November issue of L’Uomo Vogue. GAAAAAHD! That cropped shot of her in the trousers is enough to make me want to weep into my pillow all day, but also her faaace! The cheekbones! The pomp! The bad-ass expression! My heart is full of Kate. On to the next one! Kate stars in another shoot by Peter Lindbergh for the Vogue Italia and, while equally as stunning in its stark black-and-white beauty, it doesn’t carry the same draw as the L’Uomo Vogue shoot. Also, Peter Lindbergh’s behind-the-scenes style drives me insane. I get that it’s supposed to look like this romantic voyeur shot when the subject is far off and you can see a foggy blur around the lens, but I think it looks like he accidentally stuck his thumb over part of the lens. I’ve also never cared for his shots of models posing next to all his equipment. No one cares! It’s weird and distracting! The strange thing too is that Lindbergh is actually very talented at framing a shot, he just loves the candid shots and it doesn’t work with his style at all. Kate also stars in a lovely little beauty editorial by Frederic Auerbach for Gotham. Truly we are blessed with bountiful Kateness. Also Leo! HAPPY BIRTHDAY FUTURE OSCAR WINNER! Maybe Kate will let him hold hers today and practice his speech! She’s a really good BFF.
Kate Winslet by Peter Lindbergh for L’Uomo Vogue, November 2015
Kate Winslet by Peter Lindbergh for Vogue Italia, November 2015
Kate Winslet by Frederic Auerbach for Gotham, November 2015
How am I supposed to talk about these pictures when ALL I CAN DO IS WEEP? Look at how he looks at her! Look at how she looks at him looking at her! You know what would be fun? If I wasn’t 37 and didn’t have to go buy lentils and a bag of potatoes and figure out why my phone won’t hold a charge and could just spend the day looking up song lyrics that I think accurately describe Brad and Angie (BFFS 4EVA). They’re so in love. They’re so compatible. They’re so complementary. They’re so ridiculously attractive. Just a few more days until By the Sea is released, my loves! It’s not getting great early reviews. I CARE NOT! No derp it’s a vanity project that’s about super rich beautiful people struggling in various destination locations. It’s going to look gorgeous, and don’t we all deserve to look at something gorgeous? Don’t we all need a break from lentil shopping to watch two sets of perfect pillow lips speak beautiful words and the rest of the bodies attached to the perfect pillow lips cry and fuck and wear big sunglasses and smoke and throw things? YES WE DO! So look at these pictures, go see the movie, think about the Smith-Jolie-Pitts while you listen to love songs. Make a compilation album! Press it to vinyl! Hire a music legend (KENNY ROGERS????) and a TV personality (A FORMER HOST OF THE SOUP????) to stand together and speak rapturously about the songs and explain why they’re important to the Brad/Angie love story. Hire day-player actors to clink wine glasses in front of a crackling fire with a TV mounted above the fireplace playing Jolie-Pitt movies on a loop while each song title scrolls past them while they make fuck faces at each other. I have to go! I need to pitch something to Time Life! And buy lentils!
I’m really proud of us for all syncing up our spells in such a way that Angelina Jolie is going to deliver unto us the most beautiful magick this month in By the Sea, the epic story of Mr and Mrs Smith-Jolie-Pitt being talented and tortured and just breathtaking. How are they so beautiful? How did they find each other? Why are we complaining about any of our stupid problems when we get to look at them? Let’s look at Mrs Smith-Jolie-Pitt right now! Here Angie’s (we’re close, we use nicknames) razor-blade cheekbones, wide soulful eyes and impossibly long limbs are perfectly on display in a stunning black and white shoot by Peter Lindbergh. I look at these photos and I am replete. I need for nothing else.
Gosh but I love Bond Women. I do not care about the new James Bond movie. I do not care for Daniel Craig. I do not feel shame that I really only love the Pierce Bronson Bond movies. I feel a bit of shame that I don’t harshly critique Pierce’s singing voice in Mamma Mia. It’s bad! But it’s also BEAUTIFUL, for Pierce is beautiful. If I don’t stop myself I will segue this paragraph into a talk about Timothy Dalton and how I didn’t much care for him as Bond, but now he’s in his 70s and I want him inside me. Oh no, it’s happening! Have you guys seen the way he holds tiny Eva Green on Penny Dreadful and tells her everything is going to be ok? HAVE YOU? Have you seen his sexy badger beard? Do you drift off into a dreamy dreamland where it’s 1991 and he and Pierce are kissing? DO YOU? What?
Here are some gorgeous pictures of Léa Seydoux. I realized while I was looking at them that I like every picture of Léa Seydoux. She’s perfectly emotive, so sexy, and she wears clothes so beautifully. Léa is also in the Colin Farrell movie The Lobster this Holiday AWard Season. Maybe go see that instead of Spectre. Maybe watch Penny Dreadful. Maybe we should all just stop what we’re doing and watch Mamma Mia real quick. But first – look at these pictures.
Léa Seydoux by Emma Tempest for The Edit, November 5th 2015
Léa Seydoux by Thomas Nutzl for Grazia France, November 2015
Léa Seydoux by Mote Sinabel Aoki for Elle Japan, December 2015
Léa Seydoux by Eric Guillemain for GQ Italia, November 2015