How am I supposed to talk about these pictures when ALL I CAN DO IS WEEP? Look at how he looks at her! Look at how she looks at him looking at her! You know what would be fun? If I wasn’t 37 and didn’t have to go buy lentils and a bag of potatoes and figure out why my phone won’t hold a charge and could just spend the day looking up song lyrics that I think accurately describe Brad and Angie (BFFS 4EVA). They’re so in love. They’re so compatible. They’re so complementary. They’re so ridiculously attractive. Just a few more days until By the Sea is released, my loves! It’s not getting great early reviews. I CARE NOT! No derp it’s a vanity project that’s about super rich beautiful people struggling in various destination locations. It’s going to look gorgeous, and don’t we all deserve to look at something gorgeous? Don’t we all need a break from lentil shopping to watch two sets of perfect pillow lips speak beautiful words and the rest of the bodies attached to the perfect pillow lips cry and fuck and wear big sunglasses and smoke and throw things? YES WE DO! So look at these pictures, go see the movie, think about the Smith-Jolie-Pitts while you listen to love songs. Make a compilation album! Press it to vinyl! Hire a music legend (KENNY ROGERS????) and a TV personality (A FORMER HOST OF THE SOUP????) to stand together and speak rapturously about the songs and explain why they’re important to the Brad/Angie love story. Hire day-player actors to clink wine glasses in front of a crackling fire with a TV mounted above the fireplace playing Jolie-Pitt movies on a loop while each song title scrolls past them while they make fuck faces at each other. I have to go! I need to pitch something to Time Life! And buy lentils!